Conflicts Arising when Families Move in Together

There are many reasons why more families move in together. They do this during house crisis, for love or money, to save money, to weather recession, to plan retirement or to blend a family amongst many other reasons. The current economic situation and the high unemployment levels have significantly contributed to families opting to move in together. Other families consider moving in order to save money regarding this decision as the appropriate move or right idea. This is mostly due to economic reasons or love reasons.

Many children adults are moving back into their parent’s house because of the current recession. In the recent times, the number of families living in households together has risen at a rate of 11%.  This increase is evident between the year 2007 and 2010. According to the report cited by the Washington post and the Abbey study, more than a half of young adults have moved back home. The report states that more than 1 million young adults moved back home between the years 2007-2010. More families move in together to save money being influenced by economic conditions, low employment levels, and limited work prospects. According to AARP and Pew findings, most family households are owned by older parents who live with their young adults and grand children; the rate of multigenerational families increased from 28.8 % in 1990 to approximately 27.4 % in 2008 (Armour 1-3). More extended families are living together. This has changed people’s attitude towards extending families living together. According to the new Pew research analysis, 16 % of the United States population lived together with their extended families in 2008. In this case, older persons move in with their children.

Privacy for Everyone Changed

Family members do not always have the same values, beliefs, and morals. This is because they have different experiences, which change their perspectives and beliefs concerning many different issues. In this case, families living together are likely to have conflicts. According to Dougherty, privacy changes a lot when family members move back home. However, Dougherty suggests that moving in is not so bad. This is because it helps to save on the finances.

Family Conflicts

In every family, often, boundaries are crossed; values as well as views on various topics are different, which causes heated discussions and conflicts.

Political and Religious Conflicts

 Political and religious views may differ within a family setting. This is because family members share different religious and political views. The best way to deal with religious and political conflicts is to keep an open mind and avoid any discussions concerning these issues.

Financial Matters

Financial matters can also cause conflicts within families which have moved in together. Sometimes, members of the family may be stressed because of the lack of money and end up blaming other family members for these financial difficulties. In an extended family setting, it is common for one family to criticize other families for the use of money. This may cause conflicts within the family setting. The best way to deal with this is to discuss every family member’s needs and wants. Additionally, there should be a family plan on how to spend money without crossing any other person’s boundaries. However, the family members should avoid discussing family money matters publicly. This is because money matters is a private issue.

The Questions of Raising Children

Different generations within an extended family often have different views on how to raise children. Most conflicts arise when one member of the extended family criticizes how other ones are raising their children or child. However, in such a situation, it is extremely beneficial to compromise.  The best way to deal with such conflicts is to avoid imposing child rearing or discipline advice on other family members. In this way, it will be easier to draw a line or boundaries and thus limit the conflicts.

Family Influence Conflicts

In some families, all members are allowed to influence other family’s decisions and lives. The best way to deal with such conflicts is to avoid family influence.

Conflicts Resolutions

Conflicts can easily be turned into opportunities. This is because the family members can learn how to deal with the conflicts instead of avoiding the conflicts which is very important. It is important to note that mismanagement of conflicts can cause harm to the relationship. In this case, handling conflicts in a positive manner may provide strengthening of bonds within the family. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the divorce rates fall.

According to the report released in November, 37% of members claim that they observe a decrease in divorce rate. However, others while responding to these attributions said that they witnessed a significant decrease in the number of divorce cases during the times of national economic decline. 19% of the members reported an increase during the most challenging times in the family.

Understanding Conflicts in an Extended Family

The best way to deal with conflicts is to understand conflicts between the members of the extended family which have moved in together. It is necessary to understand that conflicts arise because of differences which occur when family members disagree on desires, ideas, perception, motivations, and values. When a conflict arises, it is necessary to understand the core of the problem. It is important to understand that conflicts are more than disagreements where a threat is perceived, the conflicts can continue to fester if ignored by the family members. It is necessary to respond to conflicts based on the perception of the persons involved, understand that conflicts may trigger strong emotions. All in all, every conflict is an opportunity for growth.

Ways of Managing and Resolving Conflicts

Culture and Conflict

Cultural boundaries are extremely influential in the efforts to tame, frame, name, and handle different conflicts within an extended family. In this way, the conflict depends on emotional exchange, airing of different views, and provocations. The best way to deal with such case, according to the book Preparing for Peace: Conflict Transformation across Culturesby John Paul Lederach, is to identify a mediator in the family setting.

Dealing with Conflicts

Conflicts can easily be dealt with by avoiding position-based competition and conflicts. It is necessary to note that in a position-based competition, every member of the family tries to hold their ground and prevail. In a power-based approach, the members of the family handle or resolve the conflicts leaning on the opinion of the family member with more power. In a right-based handling method, the members of the family handle the conflicts according to legal rights and the claims that are presented to authorities who are recognized. However, these methods of handling conflicts weaken, hurt or destroy relationships (Edi 2012).

Conclusion

Conflicts and disputes must always be assessed and handled directly. The extended family members have a choice to analyze and avoid such conflicts. However, avoiding the conflict will not make it go away, and dealing with rights and authorities to solve conflicts will only harm the extended family relationships. In this case, developing solutions and reaching mutual interest is the best way to handle conflicts. The conflicts can, therefore, be healthy or unhealthy. This is in relation to how the conflicts are handled and approached. It is necessary to attack the problems but not the family members.