The Hidden Side of Same-sex Marriage

Same sex marriage is a phrase that is commonly used as the phrase suggests, referring to a marital union between two people of the same sex that is a man and a man or a woman and a woman. The same sex marriage is a relatively new concept, but the concept of homosexuality is not. The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah in the bible were destroyed by god because the men there practiced sodomy (they wanted to sleep with the angle that god sent to get Noah and his family out of the cities, the even turned down Noah’s offer of his daughter). This destruction of the cities sent the message that God was opposed to these unions; hence the Christian society is opposed to this concept with their grounds being that it may bring destruction to them.

This, in my opinion, marks the start of the social problems for gay marriages. Christians and practitioners of other faiths as well, cannot be governed by the same rules that allow for same sex marriages as it goes against their beliefs.  

This is always a talking point about “the same sex marriage should be legal or not?” Some people say that same-sex marriage is an unnatural thing that it is supposed to be a business between a man and a woman. On the other hand, some people believe it does not matter if two people love each other. In the data from ABC and the Washington Post in 1998, which shows that, only 32% people who participate in opinion polls support the same-sex marriage. On the other hand, 62% people against same-sex marriage (Arsenault), but nowadays, many countries accept same-sex marriage even offer some same rights as heterosexual marriage. Especially in the United Kingdom, “gay and lesbian couples who register will receive some of the same rights as married couples, including accident compensation, life insurance, immigration, inheritance, spouse and child support and workplace benefits.”(Belge) There is another example of France in same-sex marriage. Same-sex couples have the rights of next of kin, social security and tax benefits. (Belge) These two countries are the best examples of same-sex marriage where same-sex couples obtain variety legal recognition for their relationships.

In addition, the definition of “same-sex marriage,” is two people of the same sex who live together as a family. The graph (Kincaid) reported that, 2,002 Californians who surveyed by PPIC Statewide Survey, 50% of respondents supported the same-sex marriage, the remaining

45% and 5% of respondents were opposed to same-sex marriage or said they did not know. Compared with the previous year, this polling suggests a 6% increase in support which is quite significant. Also, the supporters of same-sex marriages increased 11% between January 2000 and March 2010 which is an important milestone of attitude change in same-sex marriage.

Certain people argue that, same-sex marriage should not be legal because straight marriage will be less meaningful if same-sex marriage is allowed while others are comfortable with the repercussions. There is also the argument that the main purpose of marriage is for two people to be able to raise their children in a sheltered environment, where they have a male and a female model, which is not applicable in the case of the gay marriage as paternity is not possible. Should straight marriage partners be the only ones that have the right to have true love? What if two people love each other but they are same sex? The meaning of marriage is dear to each other, he or she become one, whether he or she was sick or healthy, rich or poor, and always been faithful to spouse. Same-sex couples comply with above rules, and in addition, there are other ways of becoming parents such as adoption (though biologists say that it leads to the loss of a gene pool) and the use of sperm donors in the case of female couples. Therefore, same-sex marriage will not make marriage meaningless. In short, same-sex marriage will eventually become legal in the United States for several reasons.

First of all, everyone is an individual and has the right to love and be loved; also, everyone has freedom of choice and it is selected, regardless of sexual preference. According to Dominique Davis, the author of “Same-sex Marriage: Everyone Should Have the Right to Love,” stated that, “there should not be a government telling two people that they cannot marry because they are of the same sex.” This is a rational reason for United States Government, especially traditional country such as China, a few same sex couples who got married in. In the light of China’s State-run Newspaper, a gay couple Zeng Anquan and Pan Wenjie had a wedding at a gay bar in Chengdu of China in January 3, 2010. But the Chinese government did not ban it. (Huang and Zhang) This shows some same sex couples were come out and pursued the right for their love. “Love is love, no matter the circumstances and, therefore, every person in this country should have the right to marry.” (Dominique) Marriage is about only two people, whether homosexual or heterosexual. Does it matter to others when same sex couples get married? According to the light of an article “Right to love” from Los Angeles Times, “When two people agree to enter into such a union, it by rights should carry the name and honor of marriage, whether it is between people of the opposite sex or between a man and a man, or a woman and a woman.” This sentence is the truest feelings of same-sex couples and love is the greatest power. Same-sex marriage is not breaking the rules but it is just another way of combining two people who are dear to their partner. The most important thing is that, love is sacred, as long as both sides are really true hearts; we have to respect their choice, regardless of whether or not the choice resonates with our beliefs. It is always a good thing when any of us truly loves and is loved by another, so why should we marginalize some people simply because we do not like their sexual preferences?  In short, all people in my opinion have the right to love and to be loved; everybody has the right to choose their spouse, regardless of sexual preference.

Moreover, same-sex marriage is becoming a natural thing that more people and countries support it, and some of the states of United States have the law for same-sex marriage. According to Brian Montopoli, the author of “Poll: Support For Same Sex Marriage Grows” a credible new CBS News/New York Times poll found out forty-two percent of Americans now say same sex couples should be allowed to legally marry. That is up nine points from last month when thirty-three percent supported legalizing same sex marriage. This shows increasingly Americans believe same sex marriage should be legal, and the concept of “same-sex marriage” is not a discriminatory word but a neutral word. Moreover, from 35 percent in March down to 28 percent in April of Americans say same sex couples should have no legal recognition, also, 25 percent of the supporters civil unions but not for same sex marriage. In the light of “Gay marriage around the globe” which is an article from BBC NEWS reported in other countries such as Holland, which is the first country to offer full civil marriage rights, there is full marriage and registered partnership rights for same sex couples in 2001. Argentina is the first country in Latin America which allows same sex couples to wed. According to Alexei Barrionuevo, the author of “Argentina Approves Gay Marriage, in a first for the region,” the president was strived for the legalization of same sex marriage. “Seldom do we see presidents willing to fight the church so strongly on this particular issue in Latin America.” This shows Argentina accepted same sex

Marriage and give some benefits for same sex couples as heterosexual. “Argentina’s new law will give gay people the same marital rights as heterosexuals, including adoption and inheritance rights, and reflects the broadening legal recognition of same-sex relationships across Latin America.” The above examples are all proven more and more countries support of gay marriage and open attitude. “I do not think people are ready to embrace it, but people are ready to accept it.” Professor Powell described his view in same-sex marriage. This shows same sex marriage gradually accepted by people and other foreign countries. In all parts, region and even states in America, gay couples are up raising children.  For varied aspects, not all people in various countries wants or likes to accept it as the reality, though it remains as the reality nonetheless. As well, it is true that, adoption is primarily “waiting” of youths and children from foster care. This is the key reasons for the widespread growth of this phenomenon. The sweet news to hear is that, both experience and research shows that, non-heterosexual adults are rising up children with much competence and sensitivity as comparable to those of their adjacent complements. As the ultimate result, their daughters and sons are trying to adjust as well.

In United States, however, only ten states allowed same-sex marriage (Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, Maryland, Washington D.C., Iowa and Washington) and seven that have allowed civil unions of gay couples. According to “Which States Allow Gay Marriage”, the author is Steve Williams, described in date order where the states legalized same sex marriage are Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and New Hampshire. Washington is the sixth place in the nation where same-sex couples can take place. Another states like the California law is considering whether same-sex marriage should be legal or not. In addition, legalized the same-sex marriage will bring some income and employment opportunities. “A study by the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, predicted that more than 14,000 same-sex marriages would occur in the city over the next three years, which would bring in $5 million in new tax revenue and create 700 jobs.” (Urbina) In view of this, the legalization of same-sex marriage does have some financial benefits for the United States. To restate, more and more countries legalized the same-sex marriage, and it is becoming a natural thing that almost people accepted it. As well, United States should legalize same-sex marriage in the country since it can bring some benefits, such as financial benefits.  As well, the recognition in other countries that, the united states which is supposed to be the figure of liberty actually gives sexual liberty to its citizens. Legalizing of the gay unions will also go a long way to convince other countries to legalize these unions since the United States is considered a model country by many nations worldwide.

Same-sex marriage parents can provide a stable, healthy home environment for children to grow up in that can be as good as or even better than the home environments that are provided by the heterosexual marriages. This is because same-sex parents know their children are more likely to experience discrimination and stigmatization by others. Owing of family circumstances, which in itself is a factor that can strengthen the family ties in the same sex marriages as parents will be more dedicated to their children. This is an ideal situation which brings them closer and this enables them to solve complicated topics such as sexuality (a topic which is still proving to be difficult for parents to discuss with their kids) and tolerance of others. Jesse Levey, for instance, a 29-year-old management consultant who is the son of a lesbian couple claims that, he grew up in a good environment. “My family had strong family values. I was raised in a loving, caring household that let me be a free thinker.” Levey explained. (Blake) This is the best example to prove for the opponent who believe that children of same-sex couples can never grow up in a good, healthy environment that like the children who raised by heterosexual couples. In general, same sex parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children. Furthermore, the same sex marriage only come as a result of a love that is strong enough to face the friction that it faces. The children who grow up in this environment are less likely to experience the stigma (caused by violence and infidelity among the parents) that is often suffered by children who grow up in loveless heterosexual marriages.

Moreover, children who are raised by same sex parents have a good psychological quality and fewer problems as other children of heterosexual. According to Nanette Gartrell, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco (and a law professor at the University of California, Los Angeles), and Henry Bos, a behavioral scientist at the University of Amsterdam, the researchers found out children of the same sex couples has a higher score in psychology, did better than other children of heterosexual, and less behavioral problems. “Children in lesbian homes scored higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression.” This shows children also have a good psychological quality living with same sex parents, and they can grow up healthily even fewer problems as other children.

Some claim that children having same-sex parents may affect their social adjustment, school success even sexual orientation. This is because these, they cannot adapt to the environment and feel pressure when he/she is being with others. In addition, children may be easy to be the “laugh object” that affects the school success directly. Even more, children have to live with their parents. Five days a week, 12 month a year, same sex parents may influence children’s sexual preference.

However, one problem with this argument is same-sex parents do not affect the children’s sexual orientation directly, even can bring some benefit for children. According to Dr. Patricia Fioriello, the author of The Education of Children Raised by Gay Parents explained “Many people are not aware of three decades of research that shows that children of the same sex parents are just as mentally healthy as kids with heterosexual parents.” This shows children of the same sex parents do not have psychological problems as people imagine. They can grow up like other children of heterosexual parents. Furthermore, the same sex parents can even bring some benefits to the children. “Children with warm relationships with their parents have the fewest problems in school, and children of same sex parents seem to be thriving even though they live in a world that often does not accept their parents.” In other words, children by same sex parents do not have many problems in school and they keen to discuss and solve problems. Thus, parent’s sexual orientation cannot affect the sexual orientation of children.

Furthermore, children’s sexual orientation is not determined by sexual orientation of parents. The American Psychological Association concluded the positive outcomes of whether same sex parents’ sexual orientation affected children’s sexual orientation. “There is no scientific evidence that parenting effectiveness is related to parental sexual orientation.” Which means same sex parents can effectively educate their children, but at the same time, same sex parent’s orientation does not affect the child’s sexual orientation. “Research has shown that adjustment, development and psychological well-being of children are unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish.” This only reflects the strong and convincing evidence that the same sex parents’ sexual orientation will not affect the child’s sexual orientation.

In short, the American Psychological Association arrives at a result: Is the quality of parenting that predicts children’s psychological and social adjustment, not the parents’ sexual orientation or gender. Also, census data indicates that in 2005 over 270,000 children in the United States were living in households headed by same-sex couples.” This is a large number that is beyond the imagination of many people. “Those children will benefit if their parents are allowed to marry.” That means children will obtain some benefits such as good environment to grow up, good education and recognition that they also have families equivalent to those of their peers etc. Additionally, the legalization of the same sex marriages would give the marriages a more acceptable outlook, which would go a long way in reducing incidences of victimization for these children, giving them an even footing with their peers and enabling them to make more friends at school and thus enjoy themselves. Thus, same-sex marriage should be legal in the United States.

In conclusion, each individual has the rights and freedom to choose love and be loved, regardless of sexual preference. Same-sex marriage is becoming a natural thing that more people and countries accept it, and has the law to safeguard the same sex couples. Nevertheless, only six states legalized the same-sex marriage, and it should be legal in the nation of United States. Lastly, same-sex marriage parents can provide a more comfortable and healthy home environment for the children, and same sex parents can not affect the children’s sexual orientation. Children can have a good relationship with their parents as children of heterosexual, besides, same sex parents are keen to discuss and solve problems for their children. According to the above examples and evidences, same-sex marriage indeed can help the same sex couple to be wed and bring some advantages for society and children. Even though, the full legalization of same-sex marriage still has a long way to go, but I strongly believe that same-sex marriage can get the equal rights and social status as heterosexual couples. Yet, same-sex couples will get the blessing from us, but if not us, then who? Same-sex marriage still not full legalize in United States, if not now, then when? How far are we away from this reality?