Revelations, Reflections Reconciliation

Being born in a family is all that one dreams of. An excellent family is one that provides and shores up love, fondness and a sensation of belonging equally to the children and the parents as well. Parents for all time endeavors to guarantee that they make available most of the things to their dearly loved children. Their definitive goal is to witness them as they grow up to be more responsible respectable people who add value to their society. I can articulate with ultimate conviction that I was born in such a family setup, a family where rules had to be obeyed and stringent orders had to be followed as well.

I grew up in Elizabeth city, North Carolina where my parents, my other siblings and I used to live. I was approximately the middle child - that is number 7 out of 15, 10 girls and 5 boys - and these elicited exceptional favors and treatment from both my parents and my siblings. Almost certainly that also gave me the right to earn the exclusive concentration and privileges that I sturdily believe that I didn't deserve.

As a matter of fact, our mother tried as to a large extent as possible to take very good care of us and to treat us equally. She could meet our needs as long as she had the means and the willingness. I usually look upon my mother as a hero because even though she was not getting quite along well with my dad she still managed to raise us up all by herself. She assumed the overall responsibility of taking care of us without help.

Our family was used to staying together. We were so close together as siblings as every one was there for each other. But then was then, now most of us have grown up and even the younger ones have finally found their way out of the home. Nowadays, we barely see each other, unless on special occasions like festivities and anniversaries. It is like once we moved out of our parent's house. Everyone started another life and immediately settled.  at the moment am married to a very handsome supportive caring and understanding husband and with whom we have a child who is 10 years old and in fifth grade.

I will and I usually speak well of my mother's upbringing. She was always authoritarian to us on how we behave and carry ourselves out there. I guess she was stricter to the girls and a bit lenient with the boys. Unlike these days where children acquire sex education from school, our mother used to teach us about it herself. She could advice and at the same time instills a sense of trepidation and responsibility in us.

For instance, she held on to the perception that sex was sacred and should not be done at any time, only after one gets married. I can gaudily recall I was 18 years when I first had sex with my then boyfriend and with whom I was planning to get married. Our mother had total control over us she had managed to make us subdue to her requests and teachings and we could not manage to disgrace her or our family name by going all around getting babies and nursing pregnancies.

We really revere what our mother taught about sex, her prominence was on maintaining our dignity and chastity as women. For example, there was fairly tale she used to tell us since we were little girls that if a boy dared and touched our behind we would instantaneously get expectant and I can surely admit that I believed her until I was 18 years.

Nowadays that the dinosaur rule has been wiped out, Middle age children discern way too much about sex and leave diminutive or no guarantee of fooling around with their minute heads. For instance there is nothing I can secrete from my son who happens to learn sex education in school. Our believe back then was no sex before marriage but I don't think that holds any influence today.

My first marriage did not work out quite well as I expected. The perception of having a divorce had never crossed my mind. I just guess that we were either never meant to be together or we were never meant for each other. Finally after 8 years of marriage, I had to capitulate to his implacable quest for a divorce as he now preferred to lead a single life. My mother, well knowing how reserved and conservative she is came with all sorts of reasons as to why I was not supposed to leave that man.

But six years down the lane I remarried to the love of my life, my soul mate and together we have a son. He is my idyllic husband, tall, well-built, determined, attractive, intelligent, and conscious of my needs, he is a great father who loves to work, and very supportive on whatever I do. He doesn't like a lot of drama, and the important of all he caters sufficiently for all my needs both material and expressive. We have been married for 17 years now and he is a great lover, a father to my child, he is my best friend and a great husband too.

Since I was born, Ceremonial observances were very important in our family. This comprised of all major public holidays such as Christmas, thanksgiving, 4 July, and important anniversaries such as birthdays. We celebrated these moments together as a family and which is a ritual that has continued up to this day. We occasionally hold a get together party where we get sometime to be together once again and report on one's progress in life. I can say that my individual approach to life is and has always been a positive attitude, one of not looking at my past failures but rather striving to excel In future.

Going through the divorce process is the worst nightmare a lady can ever experience. If only I could find a way to heal the wounds I sustained during the divorce process of my former marriage, I could be the happiest in life. It better the marriage could have ended in a manner of all other things but not through divorce. I just sometimes do wish that the marriage had worked out perfectly just as we had dreamt about it.

Right now I love my husband way too much and I don't think I can just let thing end up the way they did with the first marriage. My objective is to ensure that our marriage works out perfectly well, by being a loving and caring wife, ensuring that I add up value to my husband's life instead of being a source of grief.